The Difference Between ‘Confidence’ and ‘Self-Esteem’
When it comes to conversations around personal growth and, confidence and self-esteem often two words that come up in the conversation. But here’s the thing: they’re not the same. If you thought they were, you’re not alone—I used to think they were interchangeable. Once you understand the difference between confidence and self-esteem, it will transform the way you approach challenges, relationships, and even how you view yourself. So let’s unpack this a little further.
What Is Confidence?
Confidence is tied to action. It’s the belief that you can handle what’s in front of you, even if it feels a little intimidating at first. Ultimately, confidence is all about trusting in your ability to “do” something. It’s what helps you tackle specific tasks or situations head-on. Think of it like a muscle that grows stronger every time you practice or succeed at something.
Think about it:
You might feel confident walking into a big work meeting because you’ve prepared your points and know your stuff.
Or maybe you’re confident trying out a new skincare routine because you’ve done the research and trust the process.
Confidence almost always accompanies an action or task.
What Is Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem runs deeper. It’s all about how you see yourself—your worth, your value, your inherent sense of deserving things like love and respect. Unlike confidence, self-esteem isn’t tied to specific achievements or actions. It’s more about the relationship you have with yourself.
For example:
Do you believe you’re worthy of rest and self-care, even when your to-do list feels never-ending?
Can you say no to commitments that don’t align with your goals without feeling guilty?
Self-esteem is the quiet foundation that supports how you navigate life—it’s ultimately the rudder of the ship that’s helping you to steer your life in different directions (even if you don’t realize it).
The Key Differences
Here’s a quick way to think about it:
Confidence says, “I can handle this.”
Self-esteem says, “I am worthy, no matter what the outcome is.”
You can be confident in your ability to lead a project at work but still struggle with low self-esteem in your personal life. Or you might have healthy self-esteem yet feel nervous about tackling something new, like speaking up in a meeting. Both are essential, but they serve different purposes.
Why Both Matter
Confidence and self-esteem are like two sides of the same coin. When they work together, they’re unstoppable:
Without self-esteem, confidence can feel shaky and dependent on constant validation.
Without confidence, self-esteem might struggle to translate into bold action or pursuing new opportunities.
Finding a balance between the two allows you to take action with self-assurance while staying grounded in your worth.
How to Strengthen Both
Here’s where it gets practical. If you’re looking to build both confidence and self-esteem, start here:
For Confidence:
Start small. Stretch yourself just beyond your comfort zone, like volunteering to lead a small task at work or trying a new hobby or skill.
Celebrate wins. No achievement is too small to recognize. Keep track of those moments that remind you of what you’re capable of.
Prepare intentionally. Confidence grows when you feel ready. Whether it’s a work presentation or a social event, preparation is your superpower.
For Self-Esteem:
Speak kindly to yourself. Replace critical self-talk with encouragement. Ask yourself: Would I speak this way to a friend?
Set boundaries that protect your energy. Remember, saying no to others is saying yes to yourself.
Embrace imperfection. You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy. Start celebrating progress over perfection.
At the end of the day, confidence is what helps you show up for the moment, but self-esteem is what helps you show up for yourself. Together, they create a powerful foundation for living authentically and pursuing your goals without fear or guilt.
If you’re ready to build the kind of confidence and self-esteem that helps you thrive in every area of your life, let’s connect! Book a free strategy call, and let’s start creating the balance and self-assurance you deserve.
Llora Christian | Confidence & Beauty Coach
